TV commericals at an all time low.

So, I am watching TV tonight and I think that I witnessed the worst commercial of all time. You can watch it here:



Whats up with the music. Why is it so creepy? I guess that they were trying to emote a sense of wonder or fascination but it comes off as spacey. Not a good fit.

Also the dad. Why is he so creepy? He keeps looking back at his kid like he wants to do something devious. Not appropriate.

I guess the tag line makes sense and the premise is somewhat worth while, but they do not deliver. The advertising company for Vehix should be thrown down the well. The same thing happened with another Vehix commercial that used to run often up here in the northeast but I havent seen in a while. The commercial was premised around a manager asking his two subordinates what ideas they had for the website. One guy says something about free washing with every visit...the manager then looks at the other guy and he says something about free car videos. Awful.

For every bad there is an equal and opposite good...a ying to the yang...thats were this commercial comes in:



This song is more addicting than banana phone. It has been playing non-stop in a loop in my head since the first time I heard it. Anyone have the lyrics? This is what I have been able to decipher so far:

Grew up in the 6 1 0
then I started laying down the 4 4
In the 2 1 5
every day and night i was in and out
Phil-a-del-phi-a
Thats where i come from!
Phil-a-del-phi-a
(i dont know, but it sounds like "I need man love")
Aint nothing wrong, with a little philly love.

The artist is Kevin Michael and he is a local philly guy. There is also a longer version where he starts naming sections of philly, but that has yet to be uploaded to the intranets.

Also, the wendy's "2.99" voice is the same for both guys....it only makes sense, mainly because you figure that they would not pay for two voice guys.

Paula's Ramblings 1/24

1/24/07
New York, New York

My Tivo shit its pants so I missed the first 40 minutes….here is the rest. Paula went into classic mode when she got into an argument with Simon. Pretty good overall show.

Clifton:
Hello Cliff….Doing Well Cliff, Real good how you doing? Get ‘em out…..You work at a bank…right…is that fun?
What are you going to sing for us today?
That was just….do you have another song?
Very good. That was good, that was good.
Thank you so much for coming down.

William:
Simon…simon…

Kia:
Good. What are you going to sing for us?
When you are vulnerable and the versus and you sing that soft stuff, that’s your magic that’s what makes everyone crumble and just melt, so remember that you do not have to over sing.
[Yes/No] 100%!

Jenry:
Hey! How ya doing? We are doing great, we are doing great we are excited to start the day with you.
Ummm…I am really surprised, I am pleasantly surprised, because being sixteen years old, in tune nice texture to your voice, its beautiful and and you are easy on the easy…as they say…you know?
[Yes/No] Alright so we are going to wrap it up..I say yes….You are going to Hollywood!

Nakia:
Hi, good how are you? Energy! You are fun kid…Randy? You…does…you are infectious.
Well…You need a lot of work with your singing…a lot of work….vocally you were completely all over the place and you had a tough time…How did you think you did?
[Yes/No] No No not to me but you were a joy…
Tell em…tell em. Tell em that we liked you very much.
No that is not what it is….

Sarah:
Hi Sara Goldberg…How are you? You’re twenty? What are you going to sing?
No, I am looking at him and laughing with you…I mean you are laughing…
…All singers
We have to move on…No
And I am sorry that you regret. Oh wow.

Antonio:
What are you going to sing for us?

Jory:
Very professional…presence is great…you already sing with a natural thrill
[yes/No] Yes!

Porcelana:
I think you are pretty awesome I think you are pretty awesome. at first I thought that you were a little peculiar and I wasn’t sure that this wasn’t an act but this is really you and…yeah…
[Yes/No] yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[cut-scene]
What is your name?
Marquilita?
Gravity?
Jimbo…
Oh Simon!

Christopher:
Oh my god I see it totally….I see it. Its like staring in a mirror. Carol says identical.
Wow…wow….wow
Oh S…That is extremely rude that is extremely rude…here’s the thing you know what it is…here is the thing…Christopher…here’s it…the point…forget his point…if you built an act around your what your strength is…its not…not you could you could…you are good at…we are not talking about the competition right now, o excuse me I am giving Chris construct…I am…well the cameras can go off and I will give him constructive criticism…you are such an asshole…you are…it’s the…carol and I are trying to say something that is very constructive to your….YOU KNOW WHAT! you are a bad boy! you are just a little boy…wa wa wa….eh eh eh
[Yes/No] I said not right for the competition jerk. So you’re so mean, you so mean that you cant even let someone standing there being vulnerable here…here he got upset that he looked Simon and he should were a dress and stilettos…

Rachel:
Honesty!
Can we have another song?
So…I believe that she can…
[Yes/No] yes

Christopher:
Hi. How are you? What is your name? Love the song.
[Yes/No] I think…I think you are very special. I really do, I think, Its going to be very interesting to see how you do in the competition. Yeah…Take your time singing. Take your time.
Girls are going to love him.

Nicholas:
I remember you from last season…What happened when did you go home?
I love him…
WooHoo!
I loved your voice before and I love it even more today…Yes.
Marten..Yes..you..yes.
His voice is so beautiful…we were rooting for him last time…

Isadora:
Alright…
Chris Daughtry...Chris Daughtry…

Paula's Ramblings 1/23

1/23/07
Memphis, Tennessee

Best line NOT by Paula: I want to show my confidentiality (in reference to her level of confidence)

Frank:
Yeah, Frank you can sing but it’s a little over the top.
[Yes/No] Seemed like a great guy, maybe next year…Thanks
Cheerleaders man….there are just there for you…they are just there for you…always there for you.

Timika:
[Yes/No] Sorry honey…

Sundance:
Powerful voice, didn’t expect it.
Yeeaaahhh
[Yes/No] Great audition, great voice.

Wandera:
[Yes/No] Problem is you are a good singer….there is nothing that makes you…

[cut-scene]
Too trained, too over the top…its too desperate.

Travis:
A no no no no no…go go go…no no no.

Dannielle:
What’s your name? And what are you going to sing.
Very nice…you are like an old soul.
Oh Randy…you’re harsh. I disagree I say yes.

[cut-scene]
Oh my gosh...(giggle)

Topher:
Hello…Hello Topher…Are you the next American Idol? Why?
Thank you, Chris.
Don’t worry about that, thank you so much, thanks for coming out.

Janita:
Ok, what are you going to sing for us?
Janita…Randy?
Hahahaha (after she missed a couple notes)
Thank you honey.

Sean:
Hi
Sean, you have a nice tone to your voice…its kinda shocking…I…I…didn’t expected hear that…its kinda soulful.
Yes.

Melinda:
I love Stevie too.
mmm…You’re good, you are really good…you gotta lo…Randy?
I think you are brilliant yes…

Robert:
With a period...hahaha!
yes…you know what Robert, it wasn’t that good…in fact no…I am going to have to pass…so tragic.

Bill:
Congratulations!
Awww…you happy? You are going to have a big ole mouth on him.
I wish that could have heard something else other than my girl, I think ended up singing it well. The beginning was weird
Ok, I didn’t think that was as bad, I think that was a better song. we disagree. Guess what, I…Say…Yes…you know what that means, you are going to Hollywood…go go go.

Paula's Ramblings 1/17

1/17
Seattle, Washington

Paula was much more active this evening. But the contestants were terrible. I am not really a huge fan of this part of the show. I am much more impressed with the actual talent show part, but this is sometimes good for a laugh. Kenny and Jonathan were highlights, but otherwise it was kinda blah....

Brandon:
You’ve gotta be kidding me...
[Yes/No] No
Next season he’ll be dressed as an Indian chief

Jennifer:
You know you can’t sing with gum in your mouth.
I like that answer...I like that.
I like your sauciness...I like your saucy.
I kinda like this girl’s opinion...I don’t like her singing.
Jennifer..I love you, you just made five seasons for me.

Amy:
What are you going to sing for us today? That was a very important statement you just made, you are going to try....to sing.
You know what. I think we should have another day of relaxation and rest. You know what, water can help.
Stop it...Stop it...Amy don’t take that from him (she smacks Simon)
You are rude today...beyond...
I understand that you are not feeling well, but it’s an audition but sometimes the show must go on.

Darwin:
How are you?
They..They broke the mold after this one!
Beautiful.
I hate hearing that..you know..I hate hearing that. (as Darwin complimented Simon)
As a mother...can you stand listening to that.
Thank you very much...thanks for coming down.

Thomas:
If three times meant its over then we would never have a career.
Very...Nice.
Very soothing, its like, you know, we haven’t had a great start here in Seattle.
[Yes/No] I got goose bumps. I got goose bumps. You are absolutely original. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

[Cut scene]
If Simon and I ever have a baby this is what it will look like.

Melissa:
Wait...you love to dance on tables...What is that about?
You thought we were going to miss that one.
Fluffy, I love you.
Ok, let’s have a serious song.
[Yes/No] I am sorry Melissa. Thank you.

Blake:
Hey Blake...how you doing?
Excellent.
Very nice.
[Yes/No] uugghhgngnn. That’s why we don’t know about you. You know Blake you..you..you are very good. You were nervous, its alright I loved you. Nope...nope...nope nope nope.
Congratulations.
You know what...

[Montage]
Oh my god...wow

Shayamali:
Shay..a..mali Malakar...I can say it, Shayamali Malakar
What are you going to sing for us?
You are better than you give yourself credit...You’re very nervous you don’t have reason to be very subtle but great, you have a great energy about you I think your voice was very pretty...What do you think Simon?
I like you too buts...
I say Yes. Guess what you just heard two yeses.
Squiddly...you know we said...
You know you need to bring that to Hollywood. Congratulations.
Ok, So you are going to work on your sh..showmanship...and take it...songs...bye sweetheart...congratulations.

Shinjaya:
No, you’re the shy one of the two, I think your sister was shy.
Let me hear a little Stevie.
Wooo!
Yeahhh....
Well, I think this is a good move...
[Yes/No] Absolutely yes.

Nick:
Really good how are you doing?
You are ready for this?
What is it about yourself that makes you the next American Idol?
You are leader.
And how old are you? Twenty seven.
You know, why don’t you show us what you are talking about, what are you going to sing? That is Simon’s favorite song.
So, that would be a yes or a no from Simon...So that would be a no?
Thank you, sweetheart.

Rudy:
...Really good...
Are you kidding me? One million percent yes. Without question.
I wonder who plays bass guitar?
Congratulations.

[Cut Scene]
Shut up...
There are troubled people here.
Can’t wait for day two, after day one...oh my god, O My God!

Kenny:
I am excellent...i’m...
...dawg....
O gosh you are adorable.
Simon you are sick...He’s Sick! He’s Sick! He’s Sick!
I think you are awesome, you are a firecracker...my favorite stuff you do is when you do that....(imitates his dancing).
I think you are awesome...not right for this competition but I think you are awesome...Thank you.
[After he leaves] oh my god.

Jonathan:
I think you are...I think...the spirit that you have and you have a great personality but I don’t think you are right for this competition.
Sorry...Always believe in yourself and you’ll make it through with something.

Eric:
He’s happy.
Sorry.

Anna:
Wow. (Commenting on her height)
...growling....what?
I love you, I think you are awesome.
And I believe Simon really like you.
It’s going to be great back to Hollywood week when she is going to be in groups of three.

Jordan:
Hello Jordan.
Very nice smile....Only 16...wow.
You..you.you’re beautiful. I loved your voice.
What position?
He is so 100% lying right now...argh.
Weird....smile thing....you’re smile is beautiful....argh.
Whatever.
I think your going to go...I think you are going to do...Lets make was a prediction...you are going to go far.
(makes all sorts of moves towards Simon...awkward)
God you are annoying.

Stephen:
Really...Alright...
Freddy...
I am sorry Stephen...carry on....
Oh, you know, that’s probably your best genre (when he said that he can also do country)
...Bring it on...
Thank you Stephen.
Bring it...Bring it...

Paula's Ramblings 1/16

I plan on posting the transcript of Paula Abdul's comments for the entire season 6 of American Idol. I thought of this idea during season 4 and as I watched season 5, I realized that her words are nonsense and it is even more obvious when put in print.

Here is the transcript:
She didnt say much this time around but I am sure the good stuff will come through soon....at least i hope so.

1/16
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Jessica:
[When as if she sounded like Jewel] You sounded like Jessica.
[Yes/No] I am going to have to pass sweetheart.

Jessie:
I can’t... (mumble, mumble)
[While singing MJ] That is a note I never heard.
[Yes/No] I am going to have to pass...nope.

Charles:
I need to see something that represents how you look.
[Yes/No] I guess I am a little confused.

Denise:
Pretty powerful...pretty powerful...pretty adorable.
[Yes/No] yes (with two awkward thumbs up)

Tashawn:
Here we go.
[Yes/No] No for me.

Perla:
Yeah.....much preferred you during hips don’t lie.
[Yes/No] Yes

Mathew:
Hello Mathew, I hear you do a mean Folsom Prison Blues...you gonna do it. We are waiting for you.

Jarrod:
[Yes/No] That song has become an intragle (spelled as she said it) part of America Idol...so I am going to say yes.

Stephen:
Ummm...Too much vibrato for me, it becomes less effective when used so much.
Randy..come on....RANDY!
.
Michelle:
[Yes/No] yes

Dana:
You look beautiful. Why did your boss..fly you out to this audition? What are you going to sing for us? Love that song.
[Yes/No] Aww...Dana I think you are a beautiful girl, I honestly do, but I am going to have to say no.

Matt:
What are you going to sing for us? Let’s here it.
[Yes/No] We are on the same page then, you are to through to Hollywood.

Rachel:
[Yes/No] Oh yeah

Sarah:
Hi, how are you? You look very nice, tell us a little bit about yourself. What are you going to sing today? We like that song.
[Yes/No] Very nice....Simon....Jewel...Randy.

Jason:
[Yes/No] Definitely “America’s Got Talent”

Josh:
[Yes/No] It's a no.

I'm back

I think it is time to start again....